The Secret To Enjoying Motherhood- Not Just Surviving It

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Let’s face it, being a mom is hard and we’re exhausted.

They say “If Mama isn’t happy, nobody’s happy” and is that ever true in this household.

In the perfect world, we would effortlessly…

Take care of the children.


Keep up with household chores.

Be on top of every appointment.

Plan and prepare every meal.

Find time to exercise.

Move forward in our career.

Catch up with friends.

Explore interests or hobbies.

Find time for ourselves….

Get our nightly beauty sleep.

But in reality, most of us are lucky if we can juggle the first two on that list, let alone any of the rest. I mean, how do you do it all? Somethings got to give.

Related Article: 3 Mom-Hacks To End Overwhelm

I’m not talking about perfection here, but maybe reaching further than we have been. There has been so much written about accepting where you are in life and giving yourself grace as a mother. I’m not saying to throw out grace. We need it! But it’s not OK to accept where we are in life, when we’re miserable.

I’m telling you, motherhood should be more fulfilling than it is desperate.

Motherhood should be more fulfilling than it is desperate!Click To Tweet

Don’t you agree?

We need to reach further for happiness and be willing to make the necessary sacrifices.

So if you’re feeling unhappy right now Mama, I’ll let you in on a little secret:

There has to be more of a balance.

So many busy mamas are desperate to find the secret to creating more balance in their life. The truth is that many moms are being held back from keeping their sanity and making the best of their days by these 5 roadblocks.

Forgetting the bigger picture.

It is possible to focus so much on the boring details of parenting routines that you’re missing the bigger picture. Monotonous daily routines come with being a parent, and if those routines become soul-crushing for you, you’ve got a problem. You need to decide on your #1 top priority for each day. I talk about this more in my Mom-hacks post. You don’t have to be completely on top of every detail all the time. It’s just not possible.

Look at the bigger picture — what will you remember about this time in your life in years to come?

Spending quality time with your kids is much more important than being on top of mopping the floor and washing windows. You can’t always do it all. Let some things go, Mama. I promise I won’t judge if you do. Sometimes letting things go is good for the soul.

Not having time to yourself.

Steal some time for yourself. I don’t care how you do it — have your spouse, mother, neighbor, church members, or any other responsible family member take care of your child for a few hours. My family doesn’t live anywhere near us so we had to get creative and eventually found someone on Care.com (I’m not an affiliate of Care.com and that is not an affiliate link). We have someone come over for a few hours every week. It’s much more affordable than we expected. And most importantly those hours of alone time are keeping me SANE.

I know you hear this over and over again, and I know how you feel — like you have no idea how it’s possible to find time for yourself and that there’s not an extra dollar in the budget for you to spare for a sitter. Please just do it. Find someone! And spend that time doing something you enjoy GUILT-FREE. Eat chocolate, read a book, binge-watch Netflix, take a hot shower, get some sleep!

Exhaustion.

Take a break. Take more than one. Don’t feel guilty telling your toddler NO to playing legos for 5 minutes (heck, even 15!). Take the time to sit down to drink a whole cup of coffee. Don’t feel guilty about letting the infant fuss in the swing for a few minutes. Invest in a play-pen or play-yard and use it! Trust me, they will be fine. They’ll not only live– they will have already forgotten about it 30 minutes later. You may not have control over round-the-clock feedings and diaper changes in the middle of the night, but you do have the power to chose to take breaks throughout the day. Mental exhaustion is real and it needs to be taken seriously. Take breaks, Mama.

Not giving yourself enough time.

Look, little ones can be unpredictable. I understand with young children there are times when you have to be flexible and let the day dictate itself. But you should have a somewhat predictable daily routine at home.  Routines give children a sense of security and help them develop self-discipline. And most babies settle into a fairly predictable pattern on their own. However, creating a routine is worthless if you haven’t been honest with yourself about how much time each task will take. Don’t just plan how you’ll spend the afternoon, ask yourself what potential distractions might come up.

Give yourself some grace for how long it takes to do simple tasks anymore. Giving yourself enough time to do everything (or anything!) will help you to be a more patient mother. Save yourself some prep time by keeping the diaper bag stocked and ready to go. Allow yourself plenty of time to complete each task plus 30 more minutes. With a good routine, parents are more likely to stick to healthy expectations for everyone in the family.

The result: a family with healthy habits, where everything runs more smoothly!

Which leads to our final roadblock…

Unrealistic expectations. 

You deserve to have it all, Mama. But let’s face it, as much as we try to be supermoms, some days it’s just not possible. Find a happy medium. I don’t know about you, but my focus and priorities have changed since having children. And a simple expectation I might’ve had before children (example getting dressed in real clothes in the morning) may be unrealistic with little ones. What I’m trying to get at here, is if you’re unhappy, or life isn’t meeting your expectations, try something new. Maybe your expectations aren’t realistic anymore. Maybe it’s time to change your expectations. And that’s OKAY!

So please, dear friend, don’t let these roadblocks prevent you from finding the balance you need in motherhood anymore.

Now it’s your turn. What are the roadblocks preventing you from finding balance? What type of activities would you like to have more time for? Tell me in the comments

 

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