Mom Humor, 6 Things I Never Thought I Would Do As A Mother (but here I am!)

Mom Humor, 6 Things I never thought I would do as a Mother

Mom Humor, 6 Things I never thought I would do as a mother (but here I am!)

Prior to mommyhood, we all had fantasies about what our life would be like as a Mother. Some of my personal favorites, “We will never let our child sleep with us at night.” or “There is no way I will just let myself go after the baby comes.” or “My child will never get away with behaving like that.” Then we had kids and realized we didn’t know anything………… at all. If you were able to live out all of your Mommy preconceptions– congrats! Here’s a gold star. As for the rest of us in the real world, we learned quickly that these were all delusions.

Here are 6 Things I said I would never do as a mother (but here I am!):


My husband and I swore we would never let our children sleep with us. But guess what? We’re tired! No tired is an understatement, we’re delirious from exhaustion. If they will lay still and be quiet in our bed for long enough that we can get some semblance of sleep, then, by all means, come on and join us!

Leave the house with out doing my hair, my makeup, and in stained clothes.

I always thought I would be a stylish mom with a career and hobbies. But nope. You can find me with my hair piled on top of my head, wearing sweatpants and a nursing top (that was likely purchased over 2 years ago I might add….). There’s no time to style your hair when you have two babies physically hanging from your body. When I do attempt to wear makeup (once a month) I can barely remember how to put it on properly. How are girls wearing makeup these days anyway? By the time we finally make it to the car I’ll usually notice that my shirt has an unidentifiable stain on it. Getting everyone in the car is definitely a point of no return. I guess the stain is going with us!

Become borderline obsessed with poop.

Seriously. It’s one of the few ways new mothers can tell if their new baby is eating enough. I have kept track of dirty diapers in an app on my phone. I have compared the colors, looked for mucus, looked for seeds, blood streaks, even had to weigh dirty diapers while my newborn was sick in the hospital. Poop is life.

Treat a trip to Target as a night out.

Long gone are our leisurely evenings at that new restaurant or happy hour. Shopping alone is as fun as a Friday night out!

Nurse a toddler

My first son weaned from nursing at 12 months old– and before I became a Mommy that was my absolute limit. Four months later his brother was born. Newborns need to eat constantly and my first born was not going to miss out on all that yummy goodness. ¬†Add tandem feeding¬†to this list. Definitely, something I never thought I would do. It’s a circus. A real-life milk circus.

Lose contact with my friends.

You text me last week and I am just now responding? I’ve been trying to keep 2 tiny humans alive. (And struggling to keep a toddler from seriously injuring an infant.) You can literally see that I’ve read your Facebook messages, but I have not yet responded? This newborn has daily blowouts that can only be described as poop explosions. I’m busy. I want to call you. I miss being a part of your life. It would be great to have long visits, or even just a simple conversation with you. But the fact of the matter is, I suck at keeping in touch. It’s a fight to get alone time with my own husband (who lives with me). In conclusion, I’m just…busy.

I no longer pass judgment on parents (given the action isn’t criminal of course). As a Mommy, I’ve done things I couldn’t have even imagined a couple years ago. If you are walking in Walmart with a stained shirt, two different socks, a diaper bag, and a chocolate covered toddler more power to you girl! Get it done Mommy!
Make your next stop The Truth About This Mommy Blog.

About The Author

Kelly Travis


  1. kristal | 20th Aug 17

    Yes I do not have kids, but I feel all mom go through something similar and has things that changed.

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